Monty Python's Holy "Ail":
(A follow-up  to the bridge scene from the movie)

EXTERIOR - DAY

CUT TO the bridge of death.  A thick fog swirls around the bridge and the pit it crosses. Rendering the other side of the bridge unseen.  A TV CAMERA CREW stands near the entrance to the bridge, preparing to film.  A sharply dressed man stands in front of the camera with another man.  This is NEIL BUTTONS, BBC TV reporter and his producer SAM.

NEIL BUTTONS
Sam, are you sure he is supposed to be here?  I see no one here and nothing much thanks to this damn fog and that….pit

SAM
Honestly I’m not surprised.  They said he was blind but didn’t want any help getting here.  If he doesn’t show, we’ll make do without him.

NEIL BUTTONS
Yeah sure, whatever.  The quicker we are out of here, the better.  Bloody fog is wreaking havoc on my hair.

As they wait, a CREWMAN places a small table next to NEIL BUTTONS and a bottle of beer is placed on it  The bottle is a BLACK SHEEP’S MONTY PYTHON’S HOLY GRAIL AIL.  NEIL BUTTONS picks up the bottle, looks at it, turns to the camera.

NEIL BUTTONS
Sam, while we wait for this man, lets do a dry run on this script.  I really don’t want to be here anymore than I have to be.

SAM
Sure thing Neil
(grabbing script)
Alright, whenever you’re ready.

NEIL BUTTONS
Today we stand here, next to the Bridge of Death suspended perilously above the Gorge of Eternal Peril to talk about today’s beer: Black Sheep’s Monty Python’s Holy Ail.  An English ale, this brew, pours well and has a nice foamy head that gives off a caramel nose.
(as he talks, the blind BRIDGEKEEPER approaches from off-screen right and stands next to NEIL BUTTONS)
And….how does it taste?  It’s not bad, think of a light bock in it’s flavor though not as heavy in the caramel flavor though it’s still there as well as dry and mild with a touch of sweetness.
(NEIL BUTTONS notices the BRIDGEKEEPER, and slowly becomes more uncomfortable and disgusted)
So, in this reporter opinion..

SAM
(looking wearily at the BRIDGEKEEPER)
Umm, Good.  Hi, are you the bridgekeeper?
(SAM tries to shake the BRIDGEKEEPERS hand, who turns away from SAM)
Well, okay, I’m Sam, the gentleman you’re standing next to is Neil.  We are here for the interview for the our story on the Monty Python Beer…

BRIDGEKEEPER
(interrupting SAM)
Stop!

SAM
Okay….

BRIDGEKEEPER
Who approaches the Bridge of Death
Must answer me
These questions three!
Ere the other side he see.

NEIL looks at SAM confused.  SAM gives a look of uncertainty back to NEIL.

NEIL
Look, Bridgekeeper, we are just hear to do a story and leave, if you don’t want to talk…

BRIDGEKEEPER
(Leaning into NEIL)
What is your name?

NEIL
(Grabbing his nose quickly)
Neil Buttons, God you smell!  What did you eat, a dead rat?

BRIDGEKEEPER
Yes, I did. Food is hard to come by here.
(Leans further into NEIL who further recoils.)
What is your opinion of the beer?

NEIL
(Still holding his nose)
It’s alright, a ****************

NEIL spins away from the BRIDGEKEEPER and moves to SAM’s side.  NEIL and SAM look at each other and then the CAMERA CREW.  NEIL is still holding is nose. 

SAM
Will you be willing to sign a release so we can interview you and use that footage?

BRIDGEKEEPER
(Suddenly acting very vain and self conscious like a Hollywood actress from the golden era)
Well… I don’t know…maybe…

He is immediately thrown upward by an unseen force and cast into the pit

BRIDGEKEEPER
Not againnnnnnnn!

The whole CREW moves to the ledge and look over into the foggy abyss.

NEIL BUTTONS
Bloody hell! Did you see that?! Did we get it on film?

SAM
No. Would’ve of been great for the lead if we did.

NEIL BUTTONS
Well we don’t.  Any other ideas there Mr. Producer?

SAM
I think I saw a white rabbit back the other way, by some cave entrance. 

NEIL BUTTONS
(disgusted)
Yeah, fine.  Send one of the guys into to see if he can catch it so I can hold it in a shot or two. 

SAM
Sounds good like a plan to me.